playing footsie

Partial conversation at an Italian eatery on Hennepin Ave in downtown Minneapolis during Pride weekend:

Dotty*: Foot-in-crotch disease?
Audre: It's not a disease, it's the cure.

* Fake names are used to protect the horny.

satellite of love

If you're also on that wonderous cyber village of sex, drugs and rock n' roll called LiveJournal, you can now syndicate us.

And finish your peas before you go up for a slice of pie.

Give a girl a glass of Merlot at the Rainbow Rooster and...

Weddings are for sweet, sweet love.

Boobs are distracting, I know that!

How did her boob get to the window sill?

I don't know how to suck cock, but DAMN can I lick a pussy.

Ok, the Hawaiian shirt party was last night.

It totally shines. Sometimes I'm blinded. Sometimes, I see Jesus in it. (re: a certain someone's clitoris)

Words of Wisdom

"There's nothing better than a happy hoo-ha."

Written down on scraps of paper from the past week:

Girl A: You like mounds.
Girl B: I do!

Girl A: That's the second time you've hit me in the chest!"
Girl B: I love your chest!!

Girl C: It says china!
Girl B: As in va-?

working hard leads to funny accidental wordplay

Walking back from the office bathroom, I had the following thought:

"My nips keep titting out."

Note to self--keep sweater ON if going past an air duct.

Naked Ladies

Many months ago, a friend of mine introduced me to the joys of Erotic Photo Match (sometimes referred to as "Nudie" Photo Match)--a game you play at the bar on a touch screen wherein you must quickly find 5 differences between a set of pictures before the timer runs out. I found out that another friend of mine in Baltimore had recently discovered the joys of this game, so I asked her about her first ever Nudie Photo Match experience. She accurately summed up the game thusly:

"We played 'babes' as opposed to 'hunks.' It's harder than I would've guessed--like, floor tiles and shit. I find myself distracted by the nudity and unable to concentrate on fact that one potted palm has an extra limb."

random....

various quotes from the last week....

AP: "I am a girl! ....it's the titties."



TR: "GP just stopped in.."
AP: "What's up with him?"
TR: "He and RV went canoeing, tipped over the canoe, and he lost his cellphone to the river."

.....AP: "It would be great if he called and a fish answered."

Co-workers!

My co-worker just said to me while looking at a bill:

"This place is on Schuster Drive in Cheverly, Maryland. SCHWEET."