Gays of Our Lives

playing footsie

2004-06-29T10:09:00.000-05:00

Partial conversation at an Italian eatery on Hennepin Ave in downtown Minneapolis during Pride weekend:

Dotty*: Foot-in-crotch disease?
Audre: It's not a disease, it's the cure.

* Fake names are used to protect the horny.

satellite of love

2004-06-29T09:46:00.000-05:00

If you're also on that wonderous cyber village of sex, drugs and rock n' roll called LiveJournal, you can now syndicate us.

And finish your peas before you go up for a slice of pie.

2004-06-20T01:38:00.000-05:00

Give a girl a glass of Merlot at the Rainbow Rooster and...

Weddings are for sweet, sweet love.

Boobs are distracting, I know that!

How did her boob get to the window sill?

I don't know how to suck cock, but DAMN can I lick a pussy.

Ok, the Hawaiian shirt party was last night.

It totally shines. Sometimes I'm blinded. Sometimes, I see Jesus in it. (re: a certain someone's clitoris)

Words of Wisdom

2004-06-18T09:31:00.000-05:00

"There's nothing better than a happy hoo-ha."

2004-06-18T09:25:00.000-05:00

Written down on scraps of paper from the past week:

Girl A: You like mounds.
Girl B: I do!

Girl A: That's the second time you've hit me in the chest!"
Girl B: I love your chest!!

Girl C: It says china!
Girl B: As in va-?

working hard leads to funny accidental wordplay

2004-06-17T12:58:00.000-05:00

Walking back from the office bathroom, I had the following thought:

"My nips keep titting out."

Note to self--keep sweater ON if going past an air duct.

Naked Ladies

2004-06-16T13:54:00.000-05:00

Many months ago, a friend of mine introduced me to the joys of Erotic Photo Match (sometimes referred to as "Nudie" Photo Match)--a game you play at the bar on a touch screen wherein you must quickly find 5 differences between a set of pictures before the timer runs out. I found out that another friend of mine in Baltimore had recently discovered the joys of this game, so I asked her about her first ever Nudie Photo Match experience. She accurately summed up the game thusly:

"We played 'babes' as opposed to 'hunks.' It's harder than I would've guessed--like, floor tiles and shit. I find myself distracted by the nudity and unable to concentrate on fact that one potted palm has an extra limb."

random....

2004-06-15T15:05:00.000-05:00

various quotes from the last week....

AP: "I am a girl! ....it's the titties."

TR: "GP just stopped in.."
AP: "What's up with him?"
TR: "He and RV went canoeing, tipped over the canoe, and he lost his cellphone to the river."

.....AP: "It would be great if he called and a fish answered."

Co-workers!

2004-06-03T11:56:00.000-05:00

My co-worker just said to me while looking at a bill:

"This place is on Schuster Drive in Cheverly, Maryland. SCHWEET."

Leather Dykes

2004-05-31T14:35:00.000-05:00

I hung out with some leather dykes last night at the Mpls Eagle. They had a few choice things to say...

"Well, you shouldn't be puttin' onions in your belly button." --JR, imitating her mom's sound medical advice

"Tell her my nipples are RAW!" --TH

"That guy is looking for ass. I'll ask him... Excuse me, sir. Are you looking for ass?" --JR
"Yes, I am." --random sir

"Wasn't there oak or something in his ass? There was foliage." --TH

"I think 'sex' is when you lick someone's eyeball." --Nate

just another friday

2004-05-28T10:15:00.000-05:00

Audre in an email to Dawn:

my right armpit is REALLY REALLY ITCHY.

and my hoo-ha itches, too. off-and-on.

I'm bored.

And Patty's deep thought of the day:
I've decided to take up an old theory of mine which is that I should live my life by what I call "good story logic" ... meaning that I should put myself in situations that warrant more interesting stories. So... while my second theory is that you should never turn down Thai food, it's overruled by good story logic.

Thai food vs. snooping through a place a friend is housesitting = the dilema of the modern, urban girl.

I didn't see it comin'

2004-05-25T15:52:00.000-05:00

"I mean, looking back now, it's like, DUH. He had a favorite New Kid, for Christ's sake. And it was pansy-ass Jon, to boot." - My friend, JC, musing about how she could have overlooked the fact that her brother was gay

Hobocamp? Ho-hobocamp.

2004-05-21T14:04:00.000-05:00

Quotes shamlessly ripped from old e-mails.

Audre HepCat: Lesbians have no sense of humor.
PepperSpray Patty: Don't mind me, I'm busy licking my laser mouse.

Dawn I. WannaLayYa: you were making out with hippies in your dream?

Handsy McGrabyrjunk: (end-of-e-mail signature)
cock rocket, which rhymes with uhhh...sock pocket? mock docket? lock socket?
i give up.
"that's a huge bitch!"

last but not least...

Audre HepCat:
but I'm the FUNNIEST.
It's been well-documented.
vocally.
or dare I say it...
ORALLY.

***keeping the oral tradition alive since 1980

This just in...

2004-05-21T12:13:00.000-05:00

Part of an email from Audre* to Dawn* today (they sleep together):

In other news, in the bathroom ( just now ) I was thinking about your commentary re: my pubes from this morning.
My junk is, in fact, sparsely PUBEulated.
So, so true.

* not their real names.

Welcome

2004-05-21T10:26:00.000-05:00

Hi.

We're cute queersy gals in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. Like many groups of friends, we laugh a lot at ourselves. But the difference between us and all the other cliques around is that one of us decided to start this blog in order to record all these funny moments and share them with the you--the world.

Beware of inside jokes, inappropriate topics, and bad puns. But most of all, enjoy your stay and leave some comments.